Blog my heart out
Saturday, December 8th, 2012 by Shante | 
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If I really took the time to write everything about how I felt, I seriously have no idea how long that would be. I’m am the definition of exhausted right now. I mean…mentally, physically, and emotionally drained. I know that everyone has problems, yea yea, etc….EFF that, this is MY damn blog so I’m about to complain about my problems. That’s what this is here for. For me to vent dammit. So, back to it: I have just reached a breakdown point where I kinda feel lost. I have some people in my life who could probably listen to what I have to say, but me being the type of person that I am, I don’t want to bother them..I mean, like I said, everyone has problems. Who has the time to deal with mine? And I don’t have any close friends anymore. (I’m probably better off.) So I really don’t have a choice to but hold it all in, there’s no one to talk to, especially since I have no roommates.
I just wish I could find the ability..the courage to say what I want to say to people sometimes. But I do tend to overthink things sometimes and I end up feeling as though none of it is worth it. I don’t want to start any trouble…but I’m so unhappy right now…I mean, I can’t have who I want, I can’t handle my bills, I can’t be where I wanna be, and I feel like I’ve tried…I can’t give up of course, but this shit is depressing. What’s the point of doing the same mundane repetitive routine if its not something you wanna do? I love my job, I love my apartment, I’m grateful for what I have…but does that mean I should just settle and be happy with what I have and stop focusing on all the negative things in my life?
In other news: I am almost done with all my classes for this semester! This will be gone…I think I need a break. The stress from exams, school, my organization, work, relationships, and friendships are all about to have me to the brink. I think a good detoxing break will be good for me. Although my Christmas plans seem to be all over the place, I’m hoping they will be a bit more concrete and finalized within the next few days. I am looking forward to going to see my family…where I’m at currently is so far away from them. I am a very big family person. I don’t feel loved or wanted where I’m at now, by myself in the middle of this city.
I honestly just want to go home. Be a kid again…I remember my mom telling me that, “you are going to wish you could stay like this, stop trying to grow up so fast.” Boy was she right. I like being an adult but everything gets so much more complicated! There’s so much more responsibilities! I mean, I do think it is alot better freedom wise but with freedom comes responsibility. Anywho…I’m going to start my ‘Dear You’ section. I already have 4 people in mind that I want to write to. I’m going to password protect it. I am thinking about redoing my topbar navigation on my site because there is no room for more stuff right now…I think I will add my Dear You section on the side for now. Also, I’m going to right my reviews for the vampire diaries and Beauty and the Beast starting with the Mid-Season finale. It will give me time to be ready to start when the season start fresh. 
So that’s 2 things to cross off my todo list, but I won’t actually cross it off yet until I actually DO it . [EDIT: DONE!] I need new smilies for this site! They aren’t working.
- Start my reviews for tv shows like The Vampire Diaries and Beauty and the Beast since I watch them religiously every Thursday.
- Blog at least 3 – 5 times a week!
Start my ‘Letter to my Husband’ collectionStart my ‘Dear You’ section on my site- Have random inspirational quotes display on my side bar on every page reload / refresh
- Have a church section on my site, where I blog specifically about what I learned in church from my pastor’s sermon that Sunday, what I took away from it.
If you have made it this far, wow. Thanks for taking the time to read me blog my heart out haha…about nothing. But I feel better. This always helps…I hope you are blessed, have a great day!